What Gives You Strength?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.               ~ Robert Frost

When I was in the 5th grade , I first read The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. Though I can't speak for others I think can safely say the most of the children in class read it just like any other poem but for the first time I could feel something stirring in my soul like Frost himself had whispered those deep lines into my ears.I think that is when I realised the raw power of words.Because at that moment I realised that none of it mattered, that I was 10 years old, that I was Indian and my first language wasn't English.Because I understood, I understood what he was trying to say, I understood the language of lost oppurtunities better than I should have. And every time I read those life-altering words I feel that same passion fire up in my soul and it will never change, maybe it might mature but never change because everytime I read those lines it gives me the strength to write about what I love, to survive in this ever-changing world, to be me.

Cut not........

Before reading this, let me make it clear that I do NOT encourage cutting or any self-inflicted violence or violence at all, And I do not practice any form of self-inflicted violence especially cutting.
               There is a reason you never hear someone say, "I wish I could go back to my teen years." and if you have heard someone say it, trust  me they don't mean it.And its not that everyone's teenage years suck, some I'm sure escaped unscathed but teen  to me lately means oppression and pressure.
               I'm not naming ANY names over here, so don't  hold your breath but I do know a few stories where people have cut themselves because in their own word, they feel "worthless". Worthless according to whom, might I ask? A few plastic-y, popular girls who might not adore you? A friend who has moved on?A heartbreak?
                          For the former I say, the popular girls either don't know you or don't like you so screw them and celebrate because you won't be in their clutches anytime soon, that is a horrible excuse to hurt yourself.And if a friend moves on, of course you will miss them, they were your buddies and it might hurt like hell but everything happens for a reason so, move on too. Love them for they were by your side but don't hate them for they probably had to do right by them too.Heartbreak? If any can make you believe that you are worthless then , honey you need to build up your self-esteem because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
                         But no matter how much one preaches, people, especially girls, often cut themselves and sooner or later it becomes an addiction for them, the slightest thing can set them off. They're just girls, they just wanted to be looked in the eye and be told that they are appreciated. But how often does that happen in High School?
                  Medically, if you cut yourself too deep, then the chance of infection becomes higher. You could die if you lost too much blood! I wouldn't know exactly what triggers cutting but I have read enough to understand that it is just plain wrong and if anyone tries to popularize it, please! That is plain pathetic and dangerous.
                                   
             You know, those who cut may think that they are beaten up old pick-up trucks and a few scratches couldn't harm them much but in all honesty, they are brand-new Maseratis and even a few scratches can take away that shine.......

There's a chance for everyone.

When I was a kid ( now I'm a teenager, yeah!) I used to read these books -  Goosebumps and in some special editions, R.L. Stine would write an incident on a page and at the bottom he'd say " Go to page 13  to enter the mummy's tomb." or " Go to page 43 to fight the cyborg." And you were left with a very definite choice.... meet the mummy and not the kind to offer lemonade or go against all your instincts and fight with a human-machine. It was simple definite and though you were going to die anyway in the end, you made the choice.
          Lately, I have been thinking about chances, kind of like in Goosebumps. Maybe you go to a sing-along and you unleash your singing prowess and it just so happens that a big-shot music producer signs you on or you go to a sing along, hide in a corner, pray no one calls you on, drink cranberry juice and miss any opportunity at all. Life doesn't give out obvious choices but like it or not, every step we take towards a place could very well seal our fate.
         What if Nirbhaya (the gang-rape victim) had gone to a different bus stop or what if she had taken an auto? We can't control our fates but then who controls us or does anyone? Is there some kind of invisible, giant puppeteer holding all the strings, entwining our paths?Or maybe we make our own destinies, maybe every step we take is all because of us but what if , just like in those Goosebumps special editions even though we make those little choices that get us from one place to another, we always end up the same way?
                          So like I wrote earlier, maybe that you got signed on by a music producer because you sang at a sing-along or you hid from the stage and missed the chance, well, what if you got a little tipsy when you went home and uploaded a video of your cover of Jessie J's "Price Tag" and got spotted by a record label?
    So, I think I've gone around in a circle and confused everyone but what I want to say is that if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. If its meant for you then you'll get there some day!

Understand me. Understand me not.

I'm angry. Not grumpy angry, spewing foul words angry. angry at certain administrative figures otherwise known as morons of the highest order.They try to do what they think is right for us, like they even know us, like they even have the slightest idea of what we deal with in our daily adolescent lives.They force the problems they faced when they were teens (probably a few hundred years ago) and try to think of us as miniature avatars of them. Well, I've got news for them - WE ARE NOT. Today's fast - paced, goal-driven cut throat lives have a vastly different effect on us than it had on them. They might be trying to help but they aren't doing a very good job of it. They shuffle us and our friends with the mere excuse that "you will make new friends"....seriously make new friends have you seen the world lately? Look closer, there are more cliques and status quo-s  then you can count on your fingers and life isn't a rendition of High School Musical..no it is more of a slightly happy version of Nightmare on Elm Street.
                                                It is so freaking hard for anyone to understand us teens, and there has got to be a reason,right? Clear your heads full with memories of YOUR teenage times and open your eyes to ours without judgement and maybe you'll have a chance to understand. But seriously, who even cares about some rant of a furious teenager on the internet after they found out how they were being placed in a totally different class from their friends?
 Signing off
I Seriously Don't Care.

Survival of the Stationary...

I haven't posted anything for a very, very long time and I guess that gave me perspective instead of using this site as a virtual and very public substitute for a diary. I went on a trip to Central India with my friends, I found a love for debating and passed the eight grade.
I think for this post I'll just focus on the foremost. So, for the first time in my short life my parents sent me on this trip with my school to Gwalior, Orccha and Jhansi.I had to take care of myself which in itself wasn't that much of a big deal, some crappy food, long, winding hours on the road driving from one dusty, hot place to another but I'm just grumbling here, there were real pros too.......being with friends and bunking with them is definitely not boring and all those silly little pranks that one plays when there are only two adults on the hotel floor were played to the max!
                 We went to these really ancient forts which used to house an array of princesses, queens, kings, some evil, some decent but they all fought and you could see the signs of all those tumultuous, never ending wars showing on the once pretty palaces. Those sapphires and emeralds so laid with so much care and effort were mercilessly looted from the walls of the queen's palace and in the basement of the Gwalior fort once used to have eight swing sets for the kings eight queens but the later emperors ransacked the lush, extravagant room and turned it into the very opposite intent with which it was built, a torture chamber.
                And almost in every town we went and every old site we saw, the untamed wilderness had crept into the finely manicured gardens of Aurangzeb's age, there were bare rooms with little, empty slots were we're told that diamonds used to lay.The walls had turned yellow, wolves and dogs had taken a habit to strolling across those stately courtyards but despite it all, those enormous, aged monuments had survived war after war, famine and drought alike, those dome topped historical beauties had a way of poking through the wild trees and shrubs as if telling you that 'It doesn't matter what you put around me or in me , I have survived mare than a few centuries and I'll find a way to survive the next few.'
               I think they will. 

Friends....what would I do without them?

Its kind of hard to really explain what friendship is. Over the years man bonded with each other through some pretty tough times, whether it be fighting off dinosaurs together or huddling for warmth during the Ice Age, we've stood by each other.It doesn't matter if you've known them for 5 minutes or since you were in diapers...a friend is a friend.I heard this quote once -

             "Friendship is like peeing in your pants, it feels warm and fuzzy but only others can see it."

Kinda gross but true!And I think friendship really grows when you stick up for each other.They can be embarrassing for sure but what matters is they stick by you through thick and thin.

                 I lost touch with most of my friends during winter break and I was pleasantly reminded when a really good friend shared this blog, who virtually no one reads and every time another close friend reads my blog and tells me that its good,I feel reassured and I think that everyone needs friends, doesn't have to be someone your age, doesn't have to be the same gender, hell, doesn't have to be human! Get a dog(because they rock!) or a cat! but someone to grow and learn with, to fight and make up with...its all a part of life and if you don't have some one to call your "person"...then get one before its too late because speaking from experience they rock.

  P.S. -This is for all of my wonderful friends who support regardless of well, anything! I couldn't write this without you guys.

Remembering A Hero.

I don't know her name. Nobody did. But that won't stop the whole country from remembering her as the braveheart who indirectly awakened the whole country of India to the common women's plight. They say that every 20 minutes a women gets raped in India.If that isn't scary I don't know what is.
                  Women have been raped for a long time but when the Delhi braveheart got raped in a bus and thrown outside on the road with her companion for an hour, India raised its voice.Everyone, whether it be the youth or the more older generation, raised their long forgotten voice and protested against the rape of India's daughters.
             I wonder, if she had even thought about the possibility? The possibility that when she boarded an empty bus with her male companion that she would be raped by  6 men and that this would cause one of the most biggest uprises in India. She probably didn't, no one did but regardless it happened and a few days back India's young braveheart was fighting for her life in a Delhi hospital , she was airlifted to Singapore  but after numerous surgeries and so much strain, she died but not before giving her statement and having the devils responsible arrested.
         Protests still  rage on and they may die soon this young lone warrior will live on in every Indian's hearts as an icon of courage because the kind of troubles she had are by no circumstances ordinary and she was strong till the end.
R.I.P. 

Merry Christmas! (and a few other thoughts)

Well, its the end of the year, and it just feels so unreal. It feels like it was only yesterday that I was roaming around in shorts, sucking popsicles and now here I am, freezing by butt off, covered in layers upon layers of any sort of clothes I could get my hands on (really, anything) and the fog is like an enormous white blanket covering the whole city. I mean I can't even see the trees from my apartment?!?! Its crazy! but more on that later.
       So, we survived the "apocalyse" (yeah, right) . I mean most people would look at this as a chance to take life by the horns or some other cliche they use in a shrink's office but everyone I know is lamenting on Facebook how they were just waiting for the world to come to an end, (last time I checked they didn't really have an express pass to heaven did they?). But I think everyone is just plain tired, cause I sure as hell am. I need something to excite me but now even this blog doesn't, I mean lets be honest, the only person who reads it is my best friend, that too after pestering her to read it. But maybe it starts out like this for everyone who gets famous or maybe I'm just a loser uploading post after post onto a depressing blog which no one reads? Maybe that is life? I always thought that each life had some sort of story to tell. Maybe I was wrong.Too many maybes and not enough sureties......hmm.This was a weird Christmas, for sure. A lot of thinking, not too much doing! But hopefully my unbelievably boring life will unravel into some spectacularly, famous story but odds are they won't but that doesn't mean that it won't be a good story, right?

Every life has some inspiration, some effect on others, all we can hope for is that our lives affect people in the right way.

By the way -  Merry Christmas! 

Money. money, money!

Money is a fickle mistress. Everyone should know that. Sometimes I really think that good times are utterly ruined by money. Don't get the wrong message, all I want to is to give out an observation so, in the risk of sounding rude, take it or leave it.

                                   Money, is omnipresent.Its the truth, everywhere we go, everything we see almost always will be tied back to money.I wonder what it would be like to live in a land where money was a foreign concept? Maybe we would barter? But the world I know, is too far gone for such a drastic change, but that doesn't stop me from wondering, right? 

                                  At some point or another everybody's lives have been affected by money, for the better or for the worse but money never favors someone all through their lives. At some point, it will simply stop being on your side, I mean was it ever on your side to begin with, was it just an illusion? Like I said, fickle mistress.

                                 Its hard to write about it, because it bears no loyalty, it has no soul but how then, can it still play such a major deciding role in our lives? The mind boggles.

                                They say that man kills for one of three things - Passion, Greed and Money. 

                                 Would the person who invented money gone through with it if they could see what it has done to us? I wonder.....

                               

Hold Your Breath.

Alright, so I want to basically talk about a very common enemy in almost all of our lives -  school.
   Horrid for most, prime time of their lives for some, school is a very prominent part of people's lives regardless of whether you were -
1) the most popular kid in school
2)the most picked on
3) just in the middle of these two.
                    It plays a huge role shaping you up for the rest of your lives. Which of these three options am I you ask? Well, I'm a transfer kid so I usually go from 2 to 3 and before I reach 1, I get a transfer. Frustrating, right? Sometimes, I feel myself holding my breath in school and it feels like that, like school is just someplace where you have to hold your breath and adapt and when you get back home everything turns out to be okay.But , somehow I still feel like I'm hiding my true self in but I can't figure out how.......teenage years, huh?
                      But if I've learnt something from movies like Cinderella Story, never keep an ugly secret that can embarrass you because the evil stepsisters and a mean cheerleader will make the aim of their puny lives to reveal that in public.
                       Back to the main point, I think I'm too much of a chameleon sometimes, probably because I'm too scared that as soon as I start to open up , I'll get transferred.Its like being torn between two worlds which are as different as heaven and hell.
                       But I over think a lot of stuff, someone remind me not to make this blog about myself! :)

The tale of Pigey , the pigeon....

I was going to blab about perfection today but I've been distracted by the sight of a one-legged pigeon. The pigeon (whom I'm gonna call pigey for the duration of this post) was just like any other monotonous feathered bird from the top but when he started to walk.....well, limp I noticed how he relied on a sole leg and then he took off leaving me at the window yelling "Pigey, pigey, come back...." Yeah, pretty sad, eh?
                         I think we take too many things for granted.Lets start with my generation, what my parents look to as a privilege, we take for granted as if it were as common as air....want an example, hmmm...... - the Ipod, Iphone, Ipad , pretty much everything "I" and our cellphones. Bet that one hit the heart, huh? But all this aside, sometimes I think we get really muddled up in life and a little too much sometimes. When do we take time out to smell our coffee? We gulp it down with ferocity because we're late for our jobs or chores or whatever. How can we live in such blissful ignorance? I mean to say, come out of your shells, please! These materialistic shells which delude the everything of significance from our eyes. We should feel lucky to be able to walk, to talk, to sing (even if it sucks) and to be alive.And man should take each and every one of these gifts and put it to good use because then only can we leave the world knowing that we have made it a better place from when we first came in. So, don't spend your life hiding in this hypothetical shell, embrace your gifts and you embrace life and all that it has given you.

Analogies+teenage brain = ?

I am a bottle.
A bottle of emotions ranging from sheer happiness to the lowliest form of misery.This bottle that I am has been shaken and thrown across the room with such great force that it is a wonder I haven't broken.I think it is this forceful journey that brings out the best in us but also introduces us to our most demanding time of life.Is there a break from this forced, unavoidable journey? - No.Is there an easy way out? - I think we would have found it out by now.We think there are cures but they are momentary and they fade.We succumb to the mere confusion that is so contagious. Are we children? Are we grown ups? Who knows?Do we fight this phase or do we surrender?I don't have any answers and I don't think anybody does. We are on a path... but the destination? - Unknown.So what do we do?You tell me.
Okay, I have literally NO idea where that came from.I swear, I'm not high.

Cyber-bully.

Yesterday I watched this movie - Cyber-bully and I didn't know what to say or think after that. Tina Meier was mentioned so, I Googled her and found out about her daughter's suicide. Megan Meier was 13. I never really gave much thought to cyber-bullying. When I made an account on Facebook, my parents and my sister gave me one guideline to follow - never friend anyone you don't know. I took this rule coolly thinking that why would I, I wouldn't know what to talk about with some stranger.....but when you don't have friends and you feel all alone, anyone would accept a request because no one wants to be lonely and it feels better knowing that there is at least one friend even if he is someone you have never spoken to or seen.
                                         The internet is universal. So is bullying. And cyber-bullying  is the most dangerous form because its all anonymous. You could be a bully for all you knew, posting a nasty comment on someone's picture or status, spreading rumors about someone - I'm not accusing anyone but what we might do or say thinking of it as a joke might actually hurt another person deep inside and could do some irreparable damage. Lori Drew thought of it as a joke but she drove a vulnerable 13 year old girl who was looking for a friend to the point of killing herself, Drew might not have meant to, but it happened anyway...all actions have consequences - think carefully about yours.
 P.S. - I f anyone wants to talk about this or any other type of bullying they might have faced, feel free to comment anonymously.

Diwali -2

Ok, so today the 13th of November is Diwali and before when I wrote all happy and cheerful things about this holiday, I forgot some absolutely crappy things.I promised to be unbiased and believe you are going to get just that....
                        Alright, now I posted a picture of firecrackers yesterday when I was teeming with excitement, I think that was partially because I had stuffed myself with ladoos beforehand and was jumped up on sugar, I wrote about how pretty they are and they sure are but its sort of hard to notice the pretty lights when a bloody rocket bursts outside your window! The morons lighting crackers on the field need to take a freaking eye exam unless they really want to set the building on fire! But my personal issues aside, all these cracker create a butt load of smoke and pollution which basically means that the next morning when I look out my window the city's covered in smog and that sucks!
                         And get ready for the most heartbreaking part, dog owners beware- All the noise from these fireworks are loud by human standards which means that to dogs its like rubbing glass on a blackboard.....I can hear them barking helplessly outside and I live on the 21st floor!?!?
                         And these crackers aren't exactly cheap, a lot of money on a rocket that whizzes up to the sky and bursts open showing you colours, sparkling a bit here and there and it disappears into the smoky atmosphere polluting it a bit more.
                        Man, I can actually smell the smoke from the crackers. A bloody good job we are doing for the next generation.....

Diwali! -1

So, you might be wondering, what the hell is Diwali? Whats this chick on about? Well, Diwali is a festival here in India. Here's how you pronounce it - Dee - waa (open your mouth!)-lee. Okay so, pronunciation aside its basically the festival of lights and at night it looks so amazingly beautiful. Out of the darkness little pops of light jump up and fight for your attention in so many colors, every balcony is draped in these lights and little diyas(lamps and lanterns) outside homes, are lit welcoming you  and don't get me started on the sweetmeats!!Oh, ladoos and gulab jamuns! Anybody who does not know what they are - Google them!  I'll add a few pictures too!

          So, the gist of the story basically goes like this -

 After Rama, a prince was unfairly exiled by his step-mother for 14 years, accompanied by his faithful wife, Sita and loyal brother, Lakshman.

In the midst of these 14 years the evil king of Lanka (present day Sri Lanka), Ravana kidnaps Rama's wife, Sita and Rama searches for her and while tracking her, he helps the monkey king's brother. Sugriva who was wronged by his elder brother, the king. While helping Sugriva, Rama also gains his friendship and the friendship of another important character in this epic- Hanuman. Hanuman becomes Rama's ardent devotee and even sets Lanka on fire while trying to take back Sita. So, in the end Rama and Ravana have a show down which results in Ravana's demise and the triumph of good over evil.

           As I mentioned before this is just a gist there are much much more details that I haven't mentioned like Ravana having  10 heads! Its very interesting and one of the most respected ancient works of literature in Indian and world history, the Ramayana . (If you want to read it, there are numerous english versions available)

So when Lord Rama (yes thats right Lord Rama because he was actually an incarnation of a very important God, Lord Vishnu) returns home after 14 years, his subjects lit lamps all over the kingdom to celebrate and thats how Diwali came to be.

These little diyas are so inviting!

Imagine a whole sky full of them!

Intro!

Hi people! My name is , well can't tell you that  but even if I did you would have a hard time pronouncing it! Call me A.P.R.! As you might have gathered from the blog name, I am an eight grader and i want to give an outlook from the typical eight grader's mind but don't worry i won't turn it into an online journal of conflicting emotions. I live in India and it is so diverse here whether it be the food, the clothes , songs, dance etc. For all of you who are pondering on the Eat, Pray, Love trip, I will be telling you about how India really is, not something you see in the movies cos lets face it, they could have shot it in Bangladesh and we wouldn't know the difference! So, count on a true outlook of India, unbiased and i also love food and DIY crafts so a few snippets of them too!
Don't be hasty to judge me, you never know what you might find in here! and i know i might not gather a lot of readers and thats okay but if you do like what i write don't be afraid to write a little something to help me keep it up or if you disagree with what I say you are still welcome to criticise!